PRENTISS SMITH
Contributing Columnist
Parenting has always been a difficult proposition. It was a hard job when my parents were trying to raise my siblings and me in the ’50s, ’60s and early ’70s. It was a hard job for my wife and me when we were trying to raise our four children at the end of the last century and the beginning of this new century. Make no mistake about it, raising children is a job, and there is no substitute for good parenting.
Some people may take exception to that notion, but for anyone who has sat up with a sick child late at night, or helped with homework, or tried to be at every school function, or deal with the onset of hormones and all the other myriad of things that come up when you are raising children, you know what I am talking about. There is no substitute for good parenting. At the end of the day, it is rewarding work, especially if your children end up being good and productive citizens.
The problem with a lot of children today is parents and their lack of parenting skills. I say that with the full knowledge that there are a lot of wonderful parents who are raising their children well and trying to do the right thing. They are doing it in an environment that is not necessarily "kid friendly." The proliferation of sex and violence on television, in video games, in movies and on the internet has made an already difficult job even more difficult. There is no substitute for good parenting. Turn off the television, and take away the electronics.
The reality is that the children of this generation and the previous generation see too much and know too much. There are 6- and 7-year-old children today who know more than my contemporaries and I knew when we were in high school. That is the nature of the world we live in today. The television, video games and the internet have become our babysitters. Young, impressionable minds are easily influenced, especially if there is not a responsible adult in the mix to monitor and screen the things that they see and hear.
When I was growing up on the north side of Ruston, everybody had a mother and a father or an uncle or an aunt who was willing to co-parent children in the neighborhood. There were very few exceptions. And if you did not have a mother or a father, the community at large would become your mother and father. People cared for each other and for each other’s kids. That is not the case today. Everybody is out for themselves, and the young girl down the street with the three children out of wedlock be damned. Nobody has any money. And nobody has any time for someone else’s “bad ass” kids. That is the reality that we are dealing with today. It is a bleak picture, but unfortunately and sadly, it is true.
Children require many things, but they mostly require committed parents, a mother and a father who love them and will give them the love and discipline -- and I emphasize discipline -- that will help them become responsible individuals and good citizens. It is hard to be a good parent if you have not seen one or been exposed to one.
It is also hard to be a good parent if you allow your child to think that he or she is your equal, which we see all the time today. They are not your equal, and you are not their friend. In my dealings with children, I have found that theocracy with compassion works better than democracy without limitations when it comes to parenting. All of this says that there is no substitute for good parenting. And that’s the way I see it. smithpren@aol.com